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angelfood286
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Name: Ashlie
Location:
Gender: Female
Interests: God, love, life, people, fun, laughing, singing, dancing,swimming, listening to music,watching movies, chillin w/ friends/family, poetry!!
~***** ***** ***** **** **** ****~
Expertise: being me, showing affection, laughing at the most silly things, being spoiled! lol having a good time no matter what! :)~
Occupation: hair stylist
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  PrplMnky486
Yahoo:  angelfood286,
Yahoo:  anglmnkylove
MSN: angelfood486
AIM:  angellove486
Member Since:
9/21/2004
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| Hey, it's been a long time since I've been on here, so I decided to write finally. I'm usually on Myspace so I like don't ever get on here anymore. But ya like a lot has changed in the past year. I'm not going to go into detail but I deffinately have a lot going on right now. I've been thinking a lot about my friends like real friends and realized I don't really have any so much any more. Just the people who are fake hypocrites that use other people to get what they want and get mad at you when you make a mistake. I'm so sick of it, I just want a change in my life. I'm hoping that things will get better in the future. I've basically sworn off men and so far that has been good. I just miss the old days when I was innocent n happier, and didn't have all the things to worry about that I do now. So I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. Well, I'm out, I'll write later peace | | |
| new years resolutions:
bring god closer to me in everything i do
get rid of guys off my agenda, n live for myself more
take advise n listen to it
dont get caught up in little things that only lessen my life or the value of my out look
n only take small steps at a time so that i can handle everything i get into...
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| hey wats up? not much here just that lately ive been really nieve n dont think that i really live in reality. ive been someone else for so long its hard to tell who i really am ne more. im sad n hurting inside. i feel crazy n cant cope w/ the feelings n emotions i encounter everyday. i cant stand it ne more i think im fallin apart. if i could just not worry about things i would be happy. but my heart n mind clash n dont allow me to accept the truth as it is. i always have to wander if its a lie. i stop midway throu emotions n dont let out the way i really feel inside n dont show them to the world. im very missunderstood as a person i think, but its my own fault. i feel like im constantly on the move, n cant sit still or keep my thoughts from wandering. im so done its like im ready to move on but i cant n so i sit in agony as the world passes me by. i feel like i complain too much n dont look on the bright side of things enough. y do i feel so guilty n sorry for all the things i havent done. y cant this end just give me a sign n ill move on finally being able to reach my destiny in life. i want peace of mind, i pray for life inside of me to reach out to the surface n shine through like the sun. its my own responsiblity to be who i am. not ne one elses. they cant be me so i may as well be. | | |
| hey, just checkin in not really much to write. but ive been doin a lot of thinkin lately, n im not really depressed ne more, i just need to believe in myself n others. i havent really been doin ne of that lately n i think thats wat has been gettin me down, cause theres no fun in opposing everything. even tho somethings might not be the greatest they are still wat they are n u have to take the good w/ the bad. so i guess, that really makes me a hypocrite because i have been trying to be myself n be real w/ others n havent really been doin that. just because i dont like it here n dont want to get close to people cause of the fear of turning into one of them, or because they will know who i truely am n wont like me. i feel so fake, like im driftin away from reality. im not comfortable in my own skin, n yet i avoid everything else that could possibly help me n get me out of this troubling state of mind that im in cause im so freakin anal about how things are to be that i cant even be myself, or reach out to others. i feel so cold, n sedated that i cant even think or feel. i can only judge by wat is seen n not the truth above my own biases. because i am so freaked out by all this change n pain, i can no longer tell wat is real, or know wat is myself or just another part of a bipolar episode. i dont think that ill ever be the same again, from wat all ive been through, im just not go back to being me ne more. im another person trapt in this body. the events dont really happen, they just exist. but i cant hold up ne longer being like this. ive got to find a solid ground. ive lost my way n dont know where to go , God please help me. its getting so hard. just when i thought it would change n be different after a while, it only worsened n steered in the same direction, only faster. its goin to end soon, n ill be happy on that day. i cant wait untill the misery subsides, n only sunshine can come my way. | | |
| hey guys wats up? nmh, just chilln, studyin... dont u hate it when guys get the best of u n u dont want to say ne thing cause they suck ne ways? well i do im sick n tired of all them thinkin they can get away w/ flippin ne thing, n not have to worry about ne of it. especially the way they treat women!!!!!!! I just want to freakn scream! im so tired of it i could cry, in fact i did, several times in the past month or two! they have no respect for real women or true love or self control , well not that they practice because again they get away w/ it! well not ne more, n u who do this all know who they are , n believe me ull get urs! theres just a matter of time before it gets around, n comes back around!! its called karma baby n belive me its commin! im done, this is the last time i see my heart n feelings get ran over , stomped on then thrown out the way, just so guys can have theyre way n just think its nothing to me inside, i try my best to hide it , n hope that it works , but then again it might not be so great cause just like that it could all come back flying into my face ne given moment... so ne ways i guess im dont ranting n raving about sh*# especially those pieces of %*&# n givin up on love all together... good night! | | |
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